Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
