He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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