Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
