i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
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