So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
