Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
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