Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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