i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
