i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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