I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
