I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
pray to the hookup gods
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
