We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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