I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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