do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
