dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
accomplished twins. life is a go
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
