More tranny stories later!
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
