get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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