these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize
