i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
