There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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