we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
