i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
