Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
