super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
