do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
