I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Randomize
