Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
