YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
