just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
