So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I have tasted many bathrooms
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
