I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
