By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
