im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
