just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
