so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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