I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
Randomize
