The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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