She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
