so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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