I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
