doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Randomize
