Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Randomize
