Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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