Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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