Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
