They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
