fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
