I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
