he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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