And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Randomize
