I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
