I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
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