The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
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