I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Randomize
