the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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