it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize