okay pat passed out under dana's car
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
Actions speak louder than pants.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
