so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
