Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
