He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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