I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize