Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
