This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
