oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Do vagina's smell?
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Randomize
