I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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