I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
