On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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