We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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