the new term for farting is butt boxing.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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