Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
