Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
