Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
She told me I should be a condom model.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize