I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
