Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize