i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
