just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I am available for nakedness
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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