I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize